


Fishiues Fuckeus

by TehRevving



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: A Nature Documentary, FFXV Crack Week 2018, Other, Sort Of, about Noctis, trying to catch and fuck a fish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:18:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14845565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TehRevving/pseuds/TehRevving
Summary: Noctis loves fishing: and not for the reason you thinkA parody piece in a nature documentary script style about Noctis trying to catch and fuck a fish.A spiritual sequel to my other fic Hot Rod LovinWritten for FFXV Crack Week 2018





	Fishiues Fuckeus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blindedstarlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindedstarlight/gifts).



> After TheMissImmortal and I met each other and Ray Chase earlier this year, she had a dream in which he wrote a sequel to one of my previous fics, “Hot Rod Lovin” and I was absolutely inspired by the idea. May I present the spiritual sequel to that fic and one of my entries for FFXV Crack Week 2018 for the prompt Noctis x Fishing Rod.

Please imagine Ray Chase reading the following, if you can.

 

"Ah, what luck we are having today, we seem to have stumbled across a Noctis Lucis Caelum, Prince of Lucis, otherwise known by its taxonomic name Fishiues Fuckeus, in its natural habitat; not only that but we seem to have captured this specimen in the middle of a brutal struggle for its next meal, this is an event that has never before been captured on high definition film. 

We shall begin with a brief outline of the Noctis Lucis’ peculiar eating and mating habits, for those who are unfamiliar. This creature will spend its days sat by a body of water and use an external tool known as a ‘fishing rod’ to attempt to lure in and capture various types of aquatic creatures. The predator and its prey will engage in a vicious battle of wits and skill, as the prey desperately tries to escape the clutches of this well adjusted predator. If we are lucky, we may be able to see one of these skirmishes today. 

If the Noctis Lucis is successful in reeling in its prey it will then kill the captured animal with a blow to the head before beginning to engage in its most sacred mating ritual. 

The Noctis Lucis will insert its engorged genitalia into the mouth of its dead prey and stimulate itself until ejaculation. Afterwards it will then take the captured prey back to its pack where it will be prepared and cooked by the pack second in command. The semen of the Noctis Lucis imparts its meal with more nutritional value, meaning that the pack is able to reduce the frequency at which they are required to hunt. 

Here we can see that this specimen currently has its ‘fishing rod’ in the water and is waiting patiently for its prey to take the bait. It is difficult to tell but to a trained eye we can see from the posture of the Noctis Lucis that it has been here for quite some time. 

It appears that our valiant predator has been unsuccessful in its hunt today, having given up on its fruitless quest for prey and a suitable semen receptacle. Whilst its pack will accept it returning empty handed without a meal, they will not accept the creature returning without first relieving itself of any excess semen. 

If we look closely we can now see the Noctis Lucis unsheathing its genitalia, if we are able to adjust the camera slightly, ah here we go, we will be able to see what is colloquially referred to as its ‘hard throbbing rod.’

Whilst it is quite unusual to see self stimulation in creatures other than humans, the Noctis Lucis has evolved for sexual fluids to play a large role in its digestive cycle and so it tends to produce an excess. Here we can see the Noctis Lucis wrapping its hand around its genitalia and beginning the rigorous process known as ‘jerking off.’

In a rare display we can see the Noctis Lucis has decided to use its external ‘fishing rod’ to assist in its masturbation ritual. The Noctis Lucis has inserted its penis inside of the hook at the end of its ‘fishing rod.’ It will use this to increase stimulation on the tip of its penis while using its hand on the rest; with the end goal being to speed up the process of ejaculation.

If you listen closely, you will be able to hear the Noctis Lucis unleashing its mating cry, which to those of us not quite studied in their language will note that it sounds a lot like the word “Prompto”. It will release this noise just before ejaculation in the hope that this might attract a mate who will assist it. However, it seems like this current specimen is unlucky today and its cry goes unheeded. 

The Noctis Lucis will ejaculate over its fist and over its ‘fishing rod’ before cleaning itself off in the creek. Not only does this serve hygiene purposes but it also means that some of the aquatic life inside the body of water may ingest some of its semen and thus increasing the nutritional value of the prey contained inside this body of water for any future hunts. 

That concludes our segment on the hunting and mating rituals of the Noctis Lucis Caelum, we must quickly clear out our equipment before it notices our presence as it returns back to its pack empty handed. We will attempt to follow it with our camera crew but these creatures, collectively known as ‘chocobros’ are fairly elusive and difficult to track. Please stay tuned."

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Comments and Kudos loved, check me out on tumblr (TehRevving.tumblr.com) and ffxv crack week (ffxvcrackweek.tumblr.com)


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